These words were a letter from my long lost heavenly home. It was a glimpse of a dream that I hoped could be real. These words were confirmation, that I was valued and cherished as a unique soul with a divine heritage. One peculiar sentence jumped out at me; I was told that my hands would minister to troubled souls and bodies wracked with pain, and that as I met the needs of Heavenly Father’s children, He would minister to me in my own
I spent years wondering what that meant. At fifteen, in all my wisdom, I figured it must mean that I should be the very best friend I could be. Unfortunately, I came from a dysfunctional, codependent, broken, home. I was unaware of my empathetic spiritual gifts. And I was a victim of long-term sexual abuse. So my distorted interpretation of helping other people and being a great friend looked like this: I had to help Jesus by fixing people’s pain. In my infinite imperfection, I was such a burden to Jesus Christ that I must save everyone I could, on His behalf. Then I would be helping Jesus, not causing him more pain.
Clearly, I had no comprehension of the Savior’s atonement. And I was truggling with a ferocious savior-victim-martyr complex. All of this crazy codependent thinking had me reeling all the time. It was exhausting to live that way.
Against all the odds, I managed to marry Don, a wonderful supportive man. Truly, he was the joyful light in the wilderness. We started a family and enjoyed a good life; it all seemed like a complete miracle to me.
Early in my third pregnancy, we feared a miscarriage. My husband administered a priesthood blessing declaring that the baby would be fine; however, after her birth I would experience a deep and profound depression. And although it would be terrible, I would come forth from that darkness with the strength and understanding to help others overcome darkness in their own lives....It felt like a miracle and a nightmare all at the same time.
Just as promised, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and a whopping depression. Don lost his job went in search of work. Suddenly I was back in my mother’s home, husband and children in tow. Head on, I was facing off with the demons of my childhood. I don’t know how my family survived. It was terrible and yet it was a tender mercy. This was my chance to heal the gaping wounds caused by abuse and neglect.
Then along came Lois. She barged into my world with compassion and an understanding of my suffering. Lois dove head first into my deep dark depression. A trained psychotherapist, she was equipped with powerful tools to help me mend. Lois had herself, experienced her own childhood trauma, which led her to become a healer herself, learning to integrate the multiple personalities, or dissociative identities within her brilliantly creative mind. She also introduced me to wild and crazy energy stuff that I had never heard of before, including chakra energy. As Lois described these spinning wheels of energy I was sure she had lost her mind. After that conversation, I sifted through everything she said, listening for the spirit, making sure her teachings were in sync with my sacred covenants. I had no idea how blessed I was to have her friendship and knowledge.
It took time, and life got better. Soon we welcomed a little son. Without any explanation, Heavenly Father instructed us to move to Utah. It was loud and clear to both of us, so we obeyed immediately. Upon our arrival, we discovered that our dear friend, Tessa had become seriously ill with depression and was hospitalized following after a suicide attempt. Don and I realized it that we had been sent there to care for her during a long recovery. She came home from the hospital to us along with our 4 young children and our moving mess.
In my humble circumstances and education I had no previous professional experience that could have prepared me for Tessa. Her mind was shattered by trauma into many dissociative parts, just like Lois. Through her abuse, her trust in God had been destroyed. My hope was to help restore her mind, body and spirit with God and her family. Tessa lived with us for many months at a time, over a period of many years. Some periods of time were profoundly intense and dark. There were nights that as I prayed for her, I feared her suicidal drive would overcome her. I came to realize that each night her room was filled with angelic guardians. I could sleep while they watched.
As I struggled to find the words and the strategies to keep her alive, the Savior showed me that He was the answer. Only his way, only His atonement was powerful enough to repair the breach in her mind. My only responsibility was to show up, listen, love and act on the inspiration given to me. Multiple times I was told, “Just love her better.” Eventually Tessa found her way. She has lived a wonderful full life with her family and now her grandchildren.
Later, I would see the sacrifice Tessa made on my on my behalf. She graciously allowed my learning to come at her expense. Though I was trying to lead her to the Savior, it was me that was saved. I found His grace for myself. Her life led me to find the greatest love of my life, as the Savior introduced Himself to me through service. Tessa was lost, so I could be found.
Don and I welcomed another little son in our gray-haired years as forty was closing in on us. I would stay home with him until my turn came to pursue my education in some form of the healing arts. Finally the day came to follow my dreams for my life. I was told by the spirit to pursue an education as a Licensed Massage Therapist. I was led to study energy healing, energy psychology, life coaching and mentoring. I studied with amazing mentors like Dr. Bradley Nelson, Kirk Duncan, Michael Takatsuno and others. I learned from the best in the world…and yet there was something missing for me. I was not seeing the results I wanted for my clients. Energy work alone was not keeping my clients from creating more negative energy that I was expected to clear away. I was tired of fixing people.
After much soul searching and prayer, (and to my husband’s great concern) I closed my Body Code practice. I decided to use life coaching skills to mentor and empower my clients to create more sustainable happiness and positive change. I just didn’t know how to blend all of that with my energy skills.
A year later I sat in a two-day workshop for entrepreneurs, searching for ways to expand my mentoring practice. I had developed a group mentoring/ training helping LDS families to heal. The program was successful and I was determined to take it to the next level. So there I was, longing a little clarity in this little workshop retreat, I wanted to understand why I felt so driven to RUN forward, not very sure where to run! In a quiet moment, as I pondered my next move, a lightning bolt hit me in the head. I was told in a loud clear voice that I was to create my own healing classes for energy workers and healers.
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
It was a ridiculous idea. I mentioned it to a fellow classmate then dumped that idea. My own pride and lack of vision ruled the day.
Two weeks later, in Salt Lake in the middle of my own two-day training filled with men, women and teenagers, the lights went out inside of me. My staff and friends noticed that I was not at my usual energy level. I felt a fog take over my mind. I was fighting for the words to share. Everything went into slow motion.
I became very ill. All the energy systems of my body were shutting down. I had exhausted my adrenals and ignored all the health rules. I set myself up to learn a very big lesson. I was following my purpose to serve others, and help them to heal, but I was no longer on the right path for me. I needed to make a course correction in my life. Though I claimed that I would do as the Lord commanded, when I was told to shift my direction, I did not obey. I pulled a Jonah. God told me where to go next and instead, I ran the opposite direction. I burned out my body running away from God. There were no whales around to swallow me, so Heavenly Father pulled the plug on my health.
It took a year of rest and reflection to come into submission. Though I completely forgot about the instruction to teach healers, I returned to energy healing. I found my own methods to healing for the subconscious mind in hope of facilitating major change and relief for my clients. I developed a simple mentor/healer program. I wrote it out on post it notes then taped them to my lap top. I got better and better at diving deep into the subconscious mind, and helping others release their pain at a cellular level. I prayed for the keys to opening the mind further for more complete healing.
One Saturday, a dear client/friend invited me have breakfast with him and his wife. He was insistent. He made it clear that his life was forever changed from the work I had done. He wanted me to consider “reproducing myself”, by educating others in my techniques and then put it all online. I thought he was crazy. I was a combination of my own healing gifts and every other modality I had ever studied. I had no right to teach other people’s materials. This was impossible!
Then the big bomb hit…I remembered sitting in a workshop and hearing those words…:”You are to create training for other healers.”
I began to process to what my friend was saying to me…“Tam, create a healing program out of all that you have learned then find a way to share it with other healers.” For 2 months, I pondered and prayed for understanding.
One day, as I was working with a dear friend and colleague, a powerful witness, washed over me. I saw the Savior laying a crown of confidence upon her head. This was a gift to her as a healer. I also knew that God was ready to answer my prayers. I saw that she was to study with me in depth, and that I was to give her a great gift of knowledge through Heavenly Father. She and I both felt that witness together.
It was a night of intense listening to the spirit. I knew that all I had waited for was coming to me. I prayed to know what to name the “program” that Father in Heaven was about to give me. I called it the Healer’s Blueprint and secured the domain name. I placed a paper and pencil next to my bed, having NO idea what to do next. The spirit instructed me to go to bed and the information would be given to me in the morning.
A voice woke me at 4 am, calling my name, but only my sleeping husband was in the room with me. I sat up in bed, turned on the light and said, “I am ready”. I wrote and drew for a long time. I asked questions. I wrote the responses. It was the greatest outpouring of information I had ever received. After four hours I was told to go to the temple where I would receive more. For 3 days the ideas flowed with ease. Two weeks later the Blueprint chart was complete.
I was clearly instructed that this work was not only for me, but to share with other healers, and that I needed to act quickly. That was in June of 2013.
In August I was training an academy of 12 talented women on the Healer’s Blueprint. It was the easiest, and craziest thing I had ever done. My students knew I had not yet received an explanation or definition for many of the items listed on the Blueprint. It was an adventure in faith and a sequence of miracles that led me to the great Jehovah.
Christ will have His people healed. The Blueprint is for me, another witness of Christ’s empowering atonement. The work of Gethsemane is complete. Jesus passed through every ache of our pain and sorrow that night. Now it is up to us to implement that atoning power using our own agency; or forfeit His gift and suffer our wounds and sins alone.
True healers are those who follow the Savior’s pattern and direction for healing. In essence, we act as His apprentices. The Master Healer requires that we follow Him in all things. In our efforts to become like Him, we are tutored in His ways to be as He is in all things. Jesus Christ is calling the faithful Saints in our day, to act on their gifts and witness in His name. Be ready with ears to hear and the heart to answer when He does.
And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is.
From the Book of Mormon
Tam Pendleton was born and raised in beautiful Redlands, California.
She attended Ricks college and Married her sweetheart Don, more than 37 years ago.
They are the parents of five wonderful people.
When I was 15 years old, a kindly old patriarch laid his hands upon my head and pronounced a blessing of lineage and love. I will never forget it. That sacred moment was the closest thing to heaven I had known on this earth. I was hearing a beautiful story about a strangely familiar version of myself. The words were filled with hope and encouragement from a loving Father who I longed to know.
Tam Pendleton, Founder
The Healer's BlueprintTM